Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Flashback

There was a ten year reunion of my pharmacy class on Saturday and I didn't want to go. I didn't want to feel inadequate or frumpy or "uncool". I didn't want to feel like I did when I was going to school, always trying a little too hard and not being myself.

My Dude made me go. We were in the same pharmacy class and starting dating just as our last year was wrapping up. We still run into people we went to school with who don't know we hooked up.

So I bought myself a new dress, dolled myself up and went to the party. And it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be because I have gained PERSPECTIVE. It's my new favorite thing. It makes everything make more sense and allows me to see my place in the world. Like the girl who always made me feel a little too big, not quite pretty enough, not quite bubbly enough? Now I am happy to watch her shake her stuff on the dance floor and know that I could take her in a shimmy off. (I know how to shake it, I just choose my moments.) And I'll never be as tiny as she, but I have run 4 half marathons and birthed a baby. Not too shabby.


That's the thing about perspective. You get to see the whole picture without judgement. You can be honest with yourself and know that you have done pretty well. You don't have to compare yourself to anyone else.


By the way, the Dude says I looked hot. And he's not wrong.

6 comments:

T. said...

Yep - you look hot. Way hotter than anyone else there. No competition.

And I mean this in the most heterosexual way possible.

monkey-butter22 said...

Total hottie. Glad you had a good time!

-Jill

andi said...

So, I was going to send you a message on Ravelry, but I'll leave the comment here instead.

First, let me tell you. The first time I saw you, I thought you were striking. Seriously, you're gorgeous! (And like T, saying that in the most non-gay way possible). I can't believe you ever think you're too big or uncool or whatever.

I totally understand you dreading the reunion, though. I couldn't stand socializing with people that I was stuck with just because we were in the same classes, but ultimately had nothing in common. I'm glad you got to look hot and kick some serious a$$ on the dance floor.

J. said...

While I was not fishing for compliments, I accept them graciously. You are very kind.

catknip said...

I was there and I can attest that J was the hottest 1/2 marathoner mommy on THE PLANET! Did I mention she's an exceptional knitter?

Her ta-tas were bountiful, her booty was sleek.

She's stunning!

Anonymous said...

DItto the above comments. I especially like the new 'do. It makes your eyes look even bigger. (like t. says, please take that in the most heterosexual way!)
D